The 1^st annual Iguana Killers Tournament which was held last weekend was a great success even with the colder weather. The tournament was limited to 200 hunters, with male, female and junior divisions. This event was a large financial boost to the local economy as hunters from various States spent several days in the area visiting the fine attractions of the Florida Keys. Most of the out of town hunters were able to take home coolers full of iced down fresh Iguana meat. The official total number of Iguana take downs was 331. The overall winner was Will Scrape from Shark Key with a total of 12 Iguana kills in the 7 hour time frame of the hunt. His largest Iguana weighed an impressive 9 lbs 5 oz. His total aggregate weight was 87 lbs 2 oz. Mr. Scrape received $3,450.00 in first place prize money. The youngest hunter was a 5 year old girl from New York City who had her first reptile kill ever, within 15 minutes of the tournament opening.

The entire tournament was a hit for all concerned. The winning ticket number for the IKC41 rifle, signed by Sarah Palin, is 883477. No one came forward with the winning ticket. If you are the holder of this lucky ticket number you can contact the IKC to claim your prize. There were no complaints or protests filed by the hunters or the local citizens. The caged live Iguana shoot by the guests and visitors went so well that the IKC ran out of live Iguanas for them to shoot right about the time the awards ceremonies started. There was ample freshly killed and gilled Iguana meat, salads and beverages for everyone. Certainly no one left the Kill & Grill banquet tent hungry. The pyrotechnics display was canceled at the last minute because of the weather. The company that set up the display agreed to hold the sky rockets until next year’s event. Numerous (7) beautifully endowed young ladies put on a world class display at the wet hunting vest contest. The vendors all seemed to be having brisk sales of their hunting products. One of the vendors claimed to have sold over 30 rifles during the fair. The IKC signed up 16 additional life time enthusiastic hunters. This first time great family fun event proved that the IKC and the citizens of Monroe County working together are dedicated to terminating all the invasive Iguanas that are wrecking total devastation on the beautiful Florida Keys habitat. Numerous photos of this successful event will be posted on the web page in a few days. Thanks to all participants, vendors, sponsors and local supporters for making this a great hunt and hopefully next year the event will be bigger and better.      

At the last board meeting of the Iguana Killers Club it was decided by unanimous vote to add the invasive armadillo (grave digger) to the termination list. The nine banded armadillo is known to spread Hansen’s disease, also known as leprosy, which affects over 4,000 individuals in the United States.

The concern of the spread of Hansen’s disease from armadillos to humans did not arise until mid-1980. At first it was thought that nine-banded armadillos weren’t able to procure leprosy due to their location. However, people in Texas and in Louisiana were infected with the disease. It was later discovered that this was due to the extensive handling of nine-banded armadillos, raising them, extracting edible meat and making souvenirs from their shells. Armadillos are frequently utilized as food in the Southern United States. The meat is light-colored and when properly cooked is considered by some the equal of pork in flavor and texture.

Many legends have arisen concerning the food habits of armadillos. Among the rural folks in the South they are commonly called "gravediggers" and are thought to dig into human graves and dine upon the contents. They breed using the missionary position because of their heavy body armor. They give live birth to four young each time.  Armadillos have no natural enemies and are not on any protected list. The best way to kill Armadillos due to their heavy body armor is with a direct head shot. Hopefully the IKC will be able to control the spread of these invasive leprosy carrying creatures before they get totally out of control.

The IKC has had to change the points scoring system since adding the armadillo to its kill list. The new point system is as follows:

Iguanas =5 points, Gambian rats =4 points, Pythons =3 points, Possums or Raccoons =2 points, Armadillos =1 point

A grand slam, which is 3 confirmed kills of any 3 of the above, will add 12 bonus points to your yearly score. It still takes 500 points to become a platinum IKC member.

The IKC will soon have its 800 number 24/7 hotline in place. You will just have to leave a location address and several dedicated well armed IKC members will immediately respond. 

 

 

 

 

 

Due to the overwhelming success of the live kill caged Iguana shoot ($10.00 a shot) at the Valentine’s Day tournament the Iguana Killers Club has partnered with Lunatics Anonymous and will be promoting “Erotic Kill and Grill” island hunting safaris. Hunters will be driven around on guided safaris to the most productive killing fields for Iguana take downs. Numerous locations have already been located and permission has been granted to hunt on these selected private properties. Children under the age of 14 must have their parents signed permission to participate in this event. The IKC will provide use of high powered rifles to the participants after a brief safety course. Six passenger electric solar powered open air vehicles will be used so as that no exhaust polluting emissions get into the atmosphere. These vehicles were donated by a now defunct golf course on the West coast of Florida.

Professional IKC hunting guides will be available to educate the hunters about the delicate balance of the beautiful eco systems and habitats of the Florida Keys. The IKC has a great respect for the environment and strongly promotes Green hunting. The high standards of the IKC reference rules of engagement, sportsmanship and proper disposal of carcasses will be followed. If you are having problems with these invasive Iguanas on your property and want to have them humanely executed you can contact the IKC to set up having the hunting party safari stop at your property. There is no charge for this extermination service. Applications, dates, locations and starting times will soon be available on the Iguana Killers Club web page and at all Tourist Welcome Centers throughout the Florida Keys.

Hopefully this safari hunting adventure will attract larger numbers of lower end tourists to the Keys during these tough economic times. Lodging, dining and local attractions discount coupons will be available.   

 

At the upcoming Iguana Killers Tournament to be held during the Valentine’s Day weekend sponsored by Lunatics Anonymous an IKC41 high power rifle, signed by Sarah Palin, will be awarded to the lucky winner. Each person that enters through the main gate will be given a free raffle ticket. IKC card members will receive 2 complementary free raffle tickets when they show their valid membership card. This should be the largest family fun filled event in the Florida Keys. With each passing day additional vendors and exhibitors are signing up for the free booth space.

Applicants to the Miss Iguana wet tee shirt contest must be 18 years old but not older than 23. Proof of age is required. There is a minimum chest size requirement. Only IKC card carrying members will be allowed to witness this scheduled event. Local Law Enforcement Officers have been hired for event security. Cameras of any type will not be permitted in the main tent during this event.

The live demonstration of decapitating Iguanas has been removed from the event schedule due to problems with the event insurance carrier. Please bring all terminated Iguanas to the main tent for weigh-in. All unwanted dead Iguanas in fresh condition can be donated to the tournament and will be used in the Kill and Grill food tent.  The sale of alcoholic beverages will not be permitted on the event grounds by any vendor as this is a family fun event.  

Due to the large number of requests to enter the tournament the IKC has had to set the limit at 200 hunters. There will be no preregistration. Applications will only be accepted on the day of the hunt. Please check your Lunatics Anonymous event schedule for the complete list of family friendly events.

Iguanas may be legally killed on private property with the owner’s consent. Consent has been approved for an open killing field on Sugarloaf Key at the North end of Crane Blvd past the road barricades for the date of the hunt only. This area has been researched by the IKC and should be the most productive for Iguana take downs due the large amount of natural flora in the wetlands.

There will be a hunters meeting 1 hour before the hunt begins to go over all the rules and answer any questions or concerns that entrants might have. Copies of the IKC rules of engagement and proper carcass disposal will be handed out to all entrants during registration.

Lunatics Anonymous strongly promotes gun safety and protecting the sensitive environment, habitat and eco systems of the Florida Keys and termination of all invasive reptiles, serpents and rodents.  

Additional information will be posted as the event gets closer.   

 

There have been several articles in the South Florida newspapers lately about the invasive and deadly vampire bat. There are many bat varieties worldwide, but you usually find the true vampire bats only in Central and South America…until now. They are small, agile fliers that land on their sleeping victims, mostly deer, large dogs and humans, to lap a blood meal after biting their victim. Most victims never feel a thing and the bite itself is superficial. But increasingly bats are targeting humans and the encounters are turning deadly. Vampire bats don't suck the victim’s blood; they make a small hole with their two very sharp incisor teeth and lap up the blood. Their saliva contains an anticoagulant that keeps the blood slowly flowing while they feed off their victim. A percentage of these bats carry rabies. Rabies is a frightening and deadly disease. The classic form of the disease turns even docile creatures into aggressors that foam at the mouth. But the strain found in vampire bats is different. It is known as paralytic or dumb rabies causing disorientation, muscle weakness and eventually death.

If you observe a Key Deer foaming at the mouth you are encouraged to contact the Refuge Center. You probably haven’t had much luck contacting them 24/7 to respond to injured deer but they do occasionally listen to their answering machine. If you come in contact with a disorientated intoxicated female foaming at the mouth you should avoid contact with her at all costs. Eating thoroughly cooked bats presents no danger from rabies and other diseases but again, the emphasis is on thorough cooking. Lunatics Anonymous is researching the idea of commercially raising vampire bats as an alternative food source as the current supply of fresh Iguana meat is limited, thanks to the Iguana killers club.

 

This is great news about the large dangerous constrictor Burmese pythons that are slithering around the Keys.  According to the FWC there is a low risk of a human being attacked by a Burmese python. They mostly feed on mammals, birds and reptiles… most of the time. The FWC recommends that if you do locate one of these deadly alien snakes that you contact them to have it “relocated?” Does this low risk also apply to the aggressive African rock python that’s hanging around your back yard watching your cat, dog or kid? Pythons are constrictors, killing their prey by suffocation rather than with venom. They do this by first biting the victim to establish a grip, then wrapping several coils around its body and squeezing tighter and tighter as the victim exhales until the victim can no longer breathe. The snake then swallows the meal whole, usually headfirst.

I’m not exactly sure how they measure low risk as compared to high risk. Is that 2 out of 10? Most of the documented human attacks by pythons involve the snake's owner or immediate family. If you’re not a python owner I guess this is more good news. They don’t say anything about the undocumented attacks. How would they know how many undocumented attacks there were? Low risk, high risk, documented or undocumented, this all seems like a lot of double talk from over paid, under worked government employees. If your child or pet is found inside the belly of a 16 foot, 155 pound python will the FWC then raise the risk level from low to medium or high? It is only a matter of time for something tragic like this to happen in the Keys.

 I recently read that it is recommended that you should keep your garage door closed to stop these deadly constricting snakes from entering. I would have to add that you should probably keep your bedroom sliding glass doors closed. If I encounter on one of these giant deadly snakes I’ll probably shit my pants and then I’ll either shoot it dead on the spot or decapitate it with a machete. Then I’ll call the FWC to have it “relocated” or maybe just turn it into a nice pair of snake skin boots. The IKC, Iguana Killers Club is not affiliated in any way with the FWC. Lunatics Anonymous has recently added the first officially documented photo of a Key deer being strangled to death by a 12 foot Burmese python in the Lower Keys and 14 other photos to its web page of pythons recently observed, captured or killed in the Keys.

 

 

When I first became a sponsored member of the (IKC) Iguana Killers Club I never thought that I would be able to proudly achieve the silver status of 25 confirmed Iguana kills. I was recently awarded my gold status pin for 50 single shot kills with never a miss. My next award will be the platinum pin for 100 kills which I will quickly dispatch to the heavens of dead Iguanas. I don’t cut off the tails for proof of the kill, I cut off the right front foot and nail it to the wall in my deer skinning shed. This is reminiscent of my cutting off the right ear of a dead Viet Cong to confirm the kill. Young, old, male or female, it doesn’t make a difference in the kill count. I’m looking forward to our next meeting and Iguana barbeque where I will get a chance to greet and meet the new members.  I still have some mangrove smoked Iguana left over from our last cook-off. Thanks to our local officials there is now a Federal funded program to help kill off the remaining Iguanas in Monroe County. The Feds are going to supply the high powered air guns, do the required training and pay a reasonable bounty on all confirmed Iguana kills with the recently approved $346,000.00 grant. To be eligible for the grant money you must be a member of the IKC. Sign up today. I’ll keep you posted when I hear more.

The IKC will be holding a rally at the traffic light on Big Pine Key and all members are encouraged to attend, proudly wearing their confirmed kill patches and carrying their weapons. We will have a membership table where you can sign up to get your membership card. The IKC has the full support of the NRA. We now have a junior division, male or female for those under the age of 17 that enjoy the thrill and sport of hunting. We also just received our first shipment of Iguana cook books with 100 great receipts which we will be selling at the rally. Please show your support for the local IKC by honking your horn or dropping a donation into the ammo box. Our new motto is “DID” Dead Iguana Departed.

 

 

At the recently held election of officers for the Iguana Killers Club, Kander Bluff was elected to the honorary chair position as Imperial Lizard. At the board meeting it was decided that there would be no need to have a treasurer, unlike other boards, as the IKC has zero funds that its members could steal. Kander was selected from a list of highly respected individuals because of her innovated thinking towards the current Iguana epidemic plaguing the Florida Keys. Bluff brings with her over 12 years of Iguana hunting experience to the IKC with an uncountable number of kills as verified from her résumé.  Her new recipe book comes from working with the RKC, Road Kill Connoisseur, Dr. Ludwig Will Scrape, who now permanently resides in the Lower Keys. Bluff was instrumental in lobbying the local politicos to get the Federal grant approved for purchasing the IKC41 scoped air rifle. These top of the line, high powered rifles will be handed out free to all current members at the next IKC meeting. Bluff was also highly motivated in the recruitment drive as the IKC was has increased its membership to 196 true sportsmen. Bluff started the junior division of the IKC which has turned out to be a great success as now we have 17 young men and women engaged in the respected sport of hunting. Bluff is currently working with the Local Ass of Fisherwomen to fund and study the feasibility of using frozen Iguana carcasses as bait for their lobster and crab traps.  Bluff has already started negotiations with a locally owned business to package and market various edible portions of Iguana meat at locally owned stores. Bluff is also working with a recognized South Florida University on a study to raise, slaughter and sell the meat to various entities in the Caribbean Islands . The IKC is proud to have Kander Bluff on the board of Directors and I’m sure that all the citizens of Monroe County will benefit from Kander Bluffs Iguana eradication endeavors.