Hello my friend,

Lunatics Anonymous has come to visit once again.  I love to see you suffer mentally, physically, spiritually, and socially.  I want to make you restless so you can never relax.  I want you jumpy, nervous, and anxious.  I want to make you agitated and irritable so everything and everybody makes you uncomfortable.  I want you to be confused and depressed so that you can’t think clearly or positively.

I want to make you hate everything and everybody – especially yourself.  I want you to feel guilty and remorseful for the things you have done in the past that you’ll never be able to let go.  I want to make you angry and hateful toward the world for the way it is and for the way you are.  I want you to feel sorry for yourself and blame everything but me for the way things are.  I want you to be deceitful and untrustworthy.  I want you to manipulate and con as many people as you c an.  I want to make you fearful and paranoid for no reason at all.  I want you to wake up during all hours of the night screaming for me.  You know you can’t sleep without me… I’m even in your dreams!

I want to be the first thing you wake up to every morning and the last thing you touch before you black out.  I would rather kill you than help you, and I’ll be happy just putting you back in the hospital, another institution, or jail.  I’ll be waiting for you when you get out.  I love to watch you slowly go insane.  I love to see all the physical damage that I’m causing you.  I can’t help but sneer and chuckle when you shiver and shake, when you freeze and sweat at the same time, and when you wake up with the sheets and blankets soaking wet.

It’s amusing to watch you make love to the toilet bowl, heaving and retching and not ever able to hold me down.  It is amazing how much destruction I can do to your internal organs while at the same time working on your brain, destroying it bit by bit.  I deeply appreciate how much you have sacrificed for me.  The countless good jobs, all the fine friends you deeply cared for-you gave up for me.  Especially for the ones you turned against yourself because of you inexcusable actions, I am even more grateful.

Your loved ones-your family, the most important people in the world to you-you threw away for me.  I cannot express in words the gratitude I have for the loyalty you have for me.  You sacrificed all these beautiful things in life just to devote yourself completely to me.  But do not despair, my friend, for on me you can always depend.  And after all you have lost; you can still depend on me to take even more.

You can depend on me to keep you in a living hell, to keep your mind, body, and soul-for I will not be satisfied until you are dead, my friend.

Sincerely,

Your Addiction