LUNATICSANONYMOUS

Lunatics Anonymous has merged with

 

The Iguana Killers Club

 

Lunatics Anonymous Iguana Killers Club
Key West, FL 33040
United States

kanderbluff@yahoo.com

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101 THINGS LUNATICS SHOULD NOT SAY IN BED

Lunatics anonymous knows that

"Life is sexually transmitted"


101 Things not to say During Sex

    • But everyone looks funny naked!
    • You woke me up for that?
    • Did I mention the video camera?
    • Do you smell something burning?
    • (in a janitor's closet) And they say romance is dead.
    • Try breathing though your nose.
    • A little rug burn never hurt anybody
    • Is that a Medic-Alert pendant?
    • Sweetheart, did you lock the back door?
    • But whipped cream makes me break out.
    • Person 1..This is your first time right???  person 2 yeah...Tonight
    • ( in the no-tell motel) Hurry up!!!  This room rents by the hour.
    • Can you please pass me the remote control?
    • Do you accept VISA?
    • ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
    • On second thought, lets turn the light out.
    • And to think...I was really trying to pick up your friend!
    • So much for mouth to mouth.
    • (using body paints) Try not to leave any stains...Okay.
    • Hope your as good looking when I'm sober!
    • (holding a banana) Just a little trick I learned at the zoo.
    • Do you get any premium movie channels?
    • Try not to smear my make-up will ya?
    • (preparing to use peanut butter sexually) But I just steamed cleaned this sofa!
    • Got any penicillin?
    • But I just brushed my teeth.
    • Smile!...Your on Candid Camera.
    • I thought YOU had the keys to the handcuffs!
    • I WANT A BABY!
    • So much for the fulfillment of sexual fantasies.
    • (in a menage a trois) Why am I doing all the work?
    • Maybe we should call Dr. Ruth.
    • Did you know the ceiling needed painting?
    • I think you have it on backwards.
    • When is this suppose to feel good?
    • Put that blender back in the kitchen where it belongs!
    • You're good enough to do this for a living!
    • Is that blood on the headboard?
    • Did I remember to take my pill?
    • Are you sure I don't know you for somewhere?
    • I wish we got the Playboy Channel.
    • That leak better be from the water bed!
    • I told you it wouldn't work with out batteries.
    • But my cat always sleeps on that pillow.
    • Did I tell you my Aunt Martha Died in this bed?
    • If you quit smoking, you might have more endurance....
    • No, Really, ....I do this part better by myself!!!
    • It's nice being in bed with a woman I don't have to inflate!
    • This would be more fun with a few more people.
    • Your almost as good as my EX.
    • Do you know the definition of statutory rape?
    • Is that you I smell or is your mattress stuffed with rotten potatoes?
    • You look younger than you feel.
    • Perhaps your just out of practice.
    • You sweat more than a galloping stallion!
    • They're not cracker crumbs...it's just a rash.
    • Now I know why He/She dumped you
    • Does your husband own a sawed-off shotgun? I always ask that beforehand.
    • You give me reason to conclude that foreplay is overrated.
    • What Tampon????
    • Have you ever considered Liposuction?
    • And to think....I didn't even have to buy you dinner!
    • What are you planning to make for breakfast?
    • I have a confession................
    • I was so horny tonight, I would have taken a duck home!
    • Are those real or am I just behind the times?
    • Were you by any chance a repressed child?
    • Is that a hanging sculpture?
    • You'll still vote for me won't you?
    • Did I mention my transsexual operation?
    • I really hate women that thinks sex means something.
    • Did you cum yet dear?
    • I'll tell you who I'm fantasizing if you tell me who your.
    • A good plastic surgeon can take care of that in no time.
    • Does this count as a date?
    • Oprah had a show about women like you.
    • Hic!...I need another beer for this please......
    • I think biting is romantic, don't you?
    • You can cook too, right?
    • When would you like to meet my parents?
    • Maybe it would help if I thought about someone I really like.
    • Have you seen fatal Attraction??
    • Sorry about the name tags...I'm really bad with names.
    • Don't mind me, I always file my nails in bed.
    • (in a phone booth) You mind if I make a few calls?
    • I hope I didn't forget to turn the gas oven off....You got a light?
    • Don't worry about my dog...He's really nice for a Doberman.
    • Sorry, I don't do toes.
    • You could at least act like your enjoying it!
    • K-Y Jelly or no K-Y Jelly,   I SAID NO!!!!!!!!!!
    • Keep it down, My mother is a light sleeper.
    • I bet You didn't know I work for the ENQUIRER.
    • So that's why they call you Mr. Flash!
    • My Ex used to do it a lot longer.
    • Is this a sin too???
    • Hey?.....When's it gonna be Jeff's turn????
    • Long kisses clog my sinuses.
    • Please understand, I'm only doing this for a raise.
    • How long do you plan on being almost there?
    • YOU MEAN YOUR NOT MY BLIND DATE!!!!!!!!

Please e-mail kanderbluff@yahoo.com to add additional sayings not to say in bed.

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Lunatics Anonymous Iguana Killers Club
Key West, FL 33040
United States

kanderbluff@yahoo.com