Dr. Kandrbluff, CEO of Lunatics Anonymous understands the complex issues that a young, modern lunatic virgin of the 21 century might have. You no doubt have many questions concerning romance, love, relationships, even s..e..x. In this sensitive and frank "question and answer" format, noted sex therapist Dr Kander Bluff explains everything you've ever wondered about. To contact Dr. Bluff for more about surrendering your virginity, just click the below link and supply the requested information about your virginity questions.

Q: Where can I find the man of my dreams ?
A: This is a difficult question but, I would NOT suggest looking in the LA meeting rooms, since every virgin probably has a different idea of what their own personal lunatic should act and look like. However, when it comes to finding Mr Right, I can give you a good suggestion on where to start - anywhere. That's right, anywhere. Preferably the kind of place that does not smell of stale beer and lots of men crowded around watching a sports event on television. Pick a lunatic man that looks interesting - it's best to stay away from the shallow "pretty boys" in designer clothes with bulging muscles. Instead, I recommend you pick somebody  older and wiser than yourself. Boldly approach him, offer to buy him lunch, then invite him back to your place. Don't be shy. Tell him what you want if that's what you want. Older lunatic men also like to be life long good friends.

Q: How do I know if I found Mr Right ?
A: Unfortunately, there's no sure way to tell. Therefore, I suggest you try out one older lunatic man to start. Ask to see his lunatic member (ship) first. Yes, don't be shy. Just tell him what want, when, where, why and how. Don't be afraid to tell him how much you like him and how you would like to get to know him better. To many true lunatic females pass up many opportunities simply because they did not speak up. If you want him, tell him. He might be slow like most lunatic men but, he will slowly understand you.

Q: Do men like aggresive virgins?
A: Definitely. Although they don't admit it, men are often vey shy - so it's up to you to be bold and guide the way. Don't look in bars as you don't want this day to be spoiled by a drunk ass-aholic. Don't be afraid to approach men on street corners, in restaurants, parking lots, coffee shops, book stores, malls and even bus stops. Break the ice with simple "hello", followed by a smile and offer to have lunch together. This would be a good time to explain what you want. Then invite him back to your place and show him what you have to offer. Again don't be shy. You could be missing a great opportunity. Again, don't be shy like him.

Q: What if a man's married ?
A: This is a great opportunity to enjoy the valuable experience a married man possesses, without being tied down by any sort of commitment. Ask him not to tell your parents or friends and to keep it private between to two of you as this is your special day which you want to enjoy. 

Q: But what if I fall in love with a married man ?
A: This is a tough one, especially if you're a lunatic woman that doesn't want to be tied to one person. Ask him if his is sterile. If not, carry some condoms where ever you go with him. You will find that older lunatics make better lovers for that special night of giving up your viginity. You should also proceed slowly at first. You don't want to scare him off. Make your wants very clear from the start. Remember most older lunatics are also very shy.

Q: How do I know if I'm ready for sex ?

A: Ask yourself, don't be shy. You have fantasized long enough. You will know when the time is right. When it comes to love and sex, experienced older lunatic men are much more responsible and understanding, since they're not as emotional as virgins. This is not saying you are confused, this being your first time and you should be sure of what you want from him.

Q: Should I have sex on the first date ?
A: YES & NO. It would be highly recommended that you ask him in private to give you a serious kiss first. This can take place anywhere, anytime you feel comfortable being with him. Just ask him. No, don't ask him. Tell him you want a kiss now. If you don't ask you will never know. Not really sure about what my advice would be about sex after the first time you kiss. Take it slowly, you don't want to make him more nervous than he probably already is. Just ask him first so that he clearly understands your motives. Remember that you have to take charge of this opportunity.

Q: What exactly happens during the act of sex ?
A: Again, this is entirely up to the you. The important thing to remember is that you must do whatever you want with some question. Sometimes, however, he may direct you to do certain things that may at first seem strange to you. Do them anyway as you really don't know what you should be doing. Also don't be afraid to tell him exactly what positions you want to try. There may be times when he or you would like a snack together in bed. Both of you should feel free to taste and eat whatever you like. There are hundreds positions that he has probably learned from books that he would want to try with you. It should be a good loving, caring and learning experience for you. It is your day.

Q: How long should the sex act last ?
A: This is a natural and normal part of nature, so don't feel ashamed or embarrassed. With young males it has been known to last less than one minute. With older experienced lunatic males it WILL last sevaral hours. Make sure you plan ahead as to how much time you have to spend with him. Make your time limits very clear. You would not want to be interrupted by your parents or old boyfriend and have your opportunity spoiled. Turn off your IPOD, TV, computer and cell phone.

Q: What is "foreplay?"

Foreplay is just being comfortable with each others embraces, hugs, kisses, fondling, touching and soft talk. Foreplay should last several hours. There is no hurry to give up your virginity. You have had it for years. What's a few more hours?

Q: What is "afterplay" ?
A: After a man has finished making love, he needs to replenish his manly energy. "Afterplay" is simply activities that young lunatics do after the lovemaking, like going out with other males.  Older lunatics like to stay around and hold and comfort you. Younger males want to leave and go out fishing with their buddies. They really don't understand your needs.

Q: Does the size of the penis matter ?
A: Not really. Its like the size of a females breasts, not that important. Larger is not always better. Although many virgins believe that quality, not quantity, is important, studies show this is simply not true. The average erect male penis measures about six centimeters. Anything longer than that is extremely rare and, if by some chance your lover's sexual organ is seven centimeters or over, you should  tell him how fortunate he is and that you really him like sharing it with you. 

Q: What about the orgasm ?
A: Young males usually have one within seconds. That's why you should try an older lunatic first. They seem to be able to have sex for hours. This can cause the virgin to scream loudly and maybe even faint during orgasm. Virgins of any age have been known to have numerous orgasms on thier first encounter with an older experienced lunatic male.

Q: What if I'm not a virgin?

A: So what. Don't tell him. He won't know. This is not really important to an older lunatic. Older lunatics will accept you for who you are. Not what you were. Don't be shy. YOU MUST TAKE THE FIRST STEP. Good luck with surrendering your virginity, even if you are not a virgin.

If you have any questions about your virginity, please send photo of your naked body (optional) to kanderbluff@yahoo.com    Please, no photos of Over Eaters Anonymous. If you include your mailing address you will be mailed a free lifetime membership to Lunatics Anonymous. Your signed members card will be mailed to RESIDENT in a plain envelope with no return address.