STATISICAL PROOF THAT LUNATICS ANONYMOUS DOES WORK.
A recent scientific study has determined that being a lunatic is heavily influenced by genetics, according to Dr. Kander Bluff, research psychiatrist at Prestigious University. Dr. Bluffs study compared identical lunatic twins with fraternal lunatic twins, proving, in the same manner in which the genetic link to lunacy in men/women was proven, that because of bad genes, lunatics are powerless to quit on their own. The study found that if one identical twin was a lunatic, the odds were 80% that the other twin was also a lunatic. In non-identical twins the odds were only 40% that both would be lunatics. "This shows that genetics is at least 50% responsible for lunacy," says the distinguished professor. "Over ninety percent of all lunatics had fathers who were lunatics."
Some researchers, however, are not so sure. Dr. Slander Bluff, Dr. Kander Bluff’s twin sister, of the Central University for lunacy says, "Environment plays the most important role. Boys learn lunacy from their fathers who spend way too much time in local bars. "However, Dr. Kander Bluff responds that "Quibbling about semantics is of no help whatsoever. Whether it is a genetic disease, or has other origins, those who want to quit must know that help is available 24/7." Although there is no cure, success rates as high as 3% percent are reported for those who really want to quit with a twelve step support group offered for free by LUNATICS ANOYMOUS.
Mr. Thirteen Step of the National Council on Lunacy, an independent group only concerned with helping other lunatics, says of the seriousness of the problem of lunacy, "It is a disease just like tuberculosis, alcoholism or cancer. We have learned from experience that lunatics suffer denial just like alcoholics”.
We recently did an intervention with my brother-in-law. When his wife confronted him with the need for treatment after being away all weekend on a lunacy binge, he initially became angry and denied he needed help. 'I'll quit on my own,” he insisted. Fortunately, we had a professional counselor from Dollars Hospital Lunacy Unit on hand to help us break through the denial and get him into treatment. Although he was angry at first, he is now thankful to his family and the treatment program for saving his life. As he tells it, "I would have died without help. I had no idea how powerless I was. Now that I know God's will, all I want to do is to freely give that which was so freely given and help others recover from lunacy. In three weeks I will take the test to become a state certified lunacy addiction counselor.'"
For impartial, accurate advice on the physical, spiritual and emotional disease of Lunatism, contact:
kanderbluff@yahoo.com
ANONYMOUS
