2/20/2011  At the last Alcoholics Anonymous meeting I attended someone said that I was just a sober drunk. ???? I have been called a dry drunk numerous times by the miserable old-timers, but this is a first for me. Sober means not intoxicated, you can have a few glasses of wine and still be sober. Drunk, means to be intoxicated. If I’m a sober drunk does that mean I’m slightly intoxicated? If I’m just a dry drunk can I be a wet drunk at the same time? If I was intoxicated I wouldn’t be sober, I’d be drunk. If I was drunk, I wouldn’t be sober. If I was a dry drunk, I wouldn’t be drunk, I would just be dry. Could I be a sober dry drunk? Could I just be a drunk even though I’m sober? Could I be intoxicated and drunk while I’m just a sober dry drunk?

I have been sober for 5 of the last 7 years. I only drink a few glasses of wine on Friday and Saturday evenings of each week. I don’t get drunk or intoxicated, so I’m always sober. So out of the last 7 years I have been sober, not dry, somewhat wet for 5 years. I am totally abstinent every 5 days out of 7. If I think about 7 years in weeks, that equals 364 weeks. So I have been a sober drunk for 260 weeks. Not too bad for a low bottom sober drunk. I do have the 7 sobriety yearly medallions and have eaten enough anniversary cake to make me look like the Jersey girl. That must be why I’m called a sober drunk because I am not dry. The next time I go to an AA meeting, after a few glasses of wine, I think I’ll bring an umbrella so that I’ll stay dry when it starts raining evangelist bulls##t, I will be sober, not intoxicated. Dry is obviously better that wet. The fear tactic used by AA of saying 1 drink equals 1 drunk is an outright lie. I’m sure that some old timer, if he is dry, will be able to clearly explain to me, using his psycho babble double talk the errors of my stinking thinking ways. Most of the fanatical old-timers seem to be suffering from delusional wet brain which in itself a totally different topic.

     “The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk, they're sober.”