8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

This and the next step stem directly from the personal experience of Oxford Group Movement founder Frank Buchman, specifically from his much ballyhooed writing of apologetic letters after his "conversion" at Keswick in 1908. After writing the letters, Buchman reportedly felt a great sense of release, and henceforth regarded making amends as an essential aspect of his spiritual program.

Making a list of those one has harmed is a useful practice in so far as it goes, and can be a helpful tool in coming to a full realization of the effects one's alcoholism (or other destructive behavior) has had on other people. But this step begs the question of whether those one has harmed want to be contacted by the person responsible for their irritation, inconvenience, loss, or suffering. In a great many cases, they've probably forgotten about minor harmful incidents, and in others are happy to have the perpetrator out of their lives; and contacting them could easily reopen old wounds.

As well, the eighth step (and, indeed, the entire AA program), with its emphasis on individual culpability and total disregard of social factors, bears more than a passing resemblance to the more reactionary strands of "new ageism," with their insistence that we are all "totally responsible" for everything that happens to us. New ageism and AA's eighth step both ignore the fact that most people (including alcoholics) are the victims of more wrongs than they commit. We're all the victims of government and corporate intrusions into our private lives and finances; the vast majority of us are economically exploited and have little choice but to work at jobs that we barely tolerate, if not outright hate; we're all victims of environmental despoliation for private profit; and huge numbers of us are the victims of racism, sexism, and homophobia.

But you won't find a hint of this in AA's program. For example, it's a well established fact that the level of alcohol abuse rises (as do the rates of child abuse and wife beating) when unemployment levels rise. Alcoholics Anonymous, however, totally ignores this and all other social factors which contribute to alcoholism. Instead, AA lays the entire blame for alcoholism on the shoulders of alcoholics with its references to "our wrongs," "our shortcomings," and making "amends." In so doing, it provides tacit support for the social and political status quo.

Step 8 Satire

You may write a letter to Santa Claus / Tooth Fairy, humbly begging your bed pan and groveling before your motorcycle to remove all of your shortcomings. If you are not sure where to send the letter, just ask your higher power for the proper mailing address to your bed pan manufacturer. Maybe just mail it to the North Pole. Keep following and bowing down to the seven deadly old timers named Grumpy, Greedy, Whiney, Lazy, Snotty, Piggy and Sleazy. Plan on attending lots of funerals because LA kills more people than it saves. That is a fact. The success rate is around 3%. Period.